I spent $200+ on a jar of hope. And skepticism.
The real shock? It’s not even full. The jar is famously, depressingly hollow at the bottom — you get about 1.6 oz of product in a container that looks like it holds 3.
It’s the original Crème de la Mer from La Mer. The claim? A “miracle broth” that heals and transforms skin. I needed proof.
The Ritual
You have to warm it between your fingers to “activate” it — feels fancy or fussy, depending on your mood.
The Scent
Clean, classic, expensive. No fake florals. It smells like a spa in 1998.
The Weight
The jar has serious heft. It feels like a tiny, cold paperweight. The luxury is in the packaging, for sure.
Photo: Poko Skincare / Unsplash
The “Miracle Broth” is fermented sea kelp and minerals. It’s supposed to soothe. The rest of the ingredient list is surprisingly… basic.
- Seaweed (Algae) Extract: The fermented hero for calming
- Mineral Oil: The occlusive base — locks in moisture, can feel heavy
- Petrolatum: Yes, Vaseline’s cousin. It’s a barrier.
- Citrus & Eucalyptus Oils: For scent — potential irritants for super-sensitive types.
Photo: Karly Jones / Unsplash
Thick. Rich. Like cold whipped butter. It melts on warm skin into a serious, occlusive layer — you can *feel* it sitting there for hours.
By week two, my dry patches were gone. But my forehead? Started brewing tiny, stubborn closed comedones. It’s a fine line between deeply moisturized and too much.
My skin was plumper, calmer. But “transformed”? No. It’s a phenomenal barrier repair cream for dryness or after procedures. Not a magic wand for wrinkles.
It’s a brilliant, overpriced occlusive. The cult is half about the cream, half about the fantasy. And that hollow jar still bugs me.