Haeckels wants you to believe this serum is a piece of the English coastline in a bottle. The reality? That minimalist glass dropper ships in a cardboard box stuffed with plastic bubble wrap from a third-party supplier.
The brand talks about “regenerative” farming while their key ingredient — marine plankton — is harvested by a single boat with a diesel engine. Not exactly the eco-fantasy they’re selling.
It’s £58 for 30ml. A thin, watery liquid that claims to “replenish the skin’s microbiome” — which is fancy speak for “we put some seaweed in water and charged luxury prices.”
Plankton Extract
Fermented marine microbes that supposedly boost ceramide production — or just smell like low tide.
Seaweed Ferment
Brown algae that’s been left to rot in a tank. Sounds gross, but it’s actually a decent humectant.
Glycerin
The real MVP here. It’s doing 90% of the hydration work while the fancy ingredients take the credit.
Photo: ibnu ihza / Unsplash
It’s 98% natural — but that other 2% includes phenoxyethanol, a synthetic preservative that’s banned in clean beauty circles. The hero ingredient list is short, which is fine, but the marketing makes it sound like alchemy.
- Plankton Extract: Mild antioxidant, not a miracle worker
- Seaweed Ferment: Light hydration, zero plumping power
- Glycerin: The actual moisturizer here
- Phenoxyethanol: Synthetic preservative, not ‘clean’
Photo: pmv chamara / Unsplash
Texture is like slightly viscous water. Absorbs in 12 seconds — no joke. Leaves zero residue, which is nice if you hate sticky serums. Smells like a beach shack after a storm.
Week 2: My skin looked… fine. Not better, not worse. The surprise? It actually calmed a weird red patch on my cheek. That’s the plankton doing something, I guess.
Photo: Jocelyn Morales / Unsplash
My skin felt slightly bouncier after 3 weeks. No breakouts. No glow-up. Just… stable. Which is fine, but not £58 fine. The dark circles stayed dark.
Photo: yunona uritsky / Unsplash
It’s not greenwashing — it’s greenwishing. A decent minimalist serum that’s overpriced because of a story, not the formula. The bottle is pretty. The reality is average.